


In Which Peter is Worthy and Thor Doesn't Like Bugs

by Scotty1609



Series: Hey, Kid! (Or How the Avengers Unwittingly Adopted Spiderman) [5]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, BAMF Peter Parker, Bug Guts, Christmas Eve, Clint Barton Just Wants a Vacation, Daredevil is mentioned, Humor, Peter is Bad at Secret Identities, Peter is Not an Elevator, Peter is Worthy, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor Is a Good Bro, Thor Knows How to Keep Secret Identities, Thor and Tony have a very different definition of 'FUN', Thor in distress, Violence, man-wasps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:41:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9126118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scotty1609/pseuds/Scotty1609
Summary: These creatures remind Thor of Snorgarfs, but they aren't thankfully because Midguard doesn't have those. Thank the Allfather... And his battle-mate Spider-man is vaguely familiar to his savior, Son of Parker.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my attempt at humor due to this series' tendency to be made of angst.
> 
> WARNINGS: none
> 
> Alternate title: In Which Peter is Horrible at Keeping Secret Identities and Thor is Not Stupid (As He is Typically Written)
> 
> ((no but seriously please stop writing Thor as a bumbling idiot. He may be a bit too trusting and somewhat ignorant, but he isn't dumb.))

Christmas Eve found the Avengers fighting back a swarm of man-sized wasps with poison stingers in Central Park.

“Really? Christmas Eve? Christmas-fucking-Eve?” Clint exclaimed as he shot off another exploding arrow that took out two of the wasps.

“Language,” Natasha teased, “Steve doesn't like that talk.”

“ _Romanoff._ ”

“I quite like this activity!” Thor boomed over the comm unit. “On Asgard, we celebrate holidays with battles such as this! These creatures remind me of Snorgarfs! Do you have those here on Midguard?”

“Can't say we do, Point-Break,” Iron Man said as he blasted a wasp with his repulsor beams. “Cap, there's three headed your way. And they look angry.”

“I shall help you, my friend!” Thor exclaimed as he took off towards where the Captain was positioned.

“Thanks, Thor, but I think I've got it handled. Can you head over and help Widow with crowd control?”

“Copy that, my Captain!”

Flying with Mjolner over the battlefield, Thor saw countless curled-up bodies of the monstrosities, their goopy insides melting the snow that covered the park. Live man-wasps (as Tony had dubbed them) were still swarming the skies, dozens of them, and they had created a large hive on a nearby skyscraper. Hawkeye, donning his long-sleeve uniform with hood in order to keep away from poisonous stingers, was attacking the nest with exploding and gaseous arrows in an attempt to keep the swarm to a minimum. The Hulk- immune to the poison, they had found- was on the ground with the Captain, keeping the creatures at bay while Black Widow evacuated the area. It was a highly populated shopping area, of course, and seeing as how it was Christmas Eve, there was no lack in people running about. Iron Man was in the sky, shooting down the wasps that tried to breach the perimeter the Captain had set.

Thor landed next to Black Widow, Mjolner in hand. “Where do you need assistance?”

“These things are building a new hive over on that building!” Widow shouted over the clamoring cloud and buzzing creatures, pointing to a news building across the way. “The building hasn't been completely evacuated!”

“Say no more!” Thor told her, taking off once more.

True enough, the wasps had started with the makings of a new nest, right above the entry door to the news building. Behind the doors, people were screaming bloody murder, trapped inside with the monsters trying to break in.

“Never fear!” Thor exclaimed with a grin, swinging Mjolner in a circle. “This will be _fun._ ”

With one throw, two of the wasps were taken out. This seemed to anger the remaining four, though, as they rounded on Thor with stingers aimed. Swinging out, Thor's hammer bashed one of the creatures in half, its poisonous insides splashing out onto his hand. He winced as his skin was bitten away, but pushed past the pain to finish off the other creatures. Once he found a moment's rest, Thor threw open the doors to the news station, getting lost in the flood of screaming people who ran past him.

Flying up above the crow, Thor lifted Mjolner up into the sky high above his head. Thunder and lightning crackled, and he aimed the hammer towards the wasps' nest. Just before the lightning strike, though, the man felt himself being tackled to the ground.

The wasp that had tackled him was nearly three times the size of the others, golden and black with two pairs of wings and honest-to-god _fangs_. It _roared_ at him, and Thor was once more reminded of the horrible Snorgarfs from his homeland.

Suddenly, immense pain was exploding in his chest, and he threw his head back and howled. The beast had thrust its stingers between his ribs, and he _felt_ the creature's poison filling his lungs.

“ _THOR_!”

He didn't immediately recognize the scream, but before he could pause to try and place it, he passed out from the pain.

 

…

 

“Ugnn...”

“Don't move!” cried the voice from earlier. “You were really badly hurt. You've been out for a little over an hour.”

“The beasts?” Thor groaned as he blinked back stars, looking around him to realize he had been pulled into the news station, a feat for any mere mortal.

“It looks like the nests they built are spawning more of them. The Avengers are holding them at bay, but the Queen Wasp that attacked you is still up and roaring. Who even knew wasps could roar? I'm pretty sure they can't. Besides, they don't even have fangs. I'm pretty sure, I mean...”

Once his vision returned to him completely, Thor sat up. Pain shot through his torso, and then small hands were on his chest, trying to push him back down.

“Hey, wait! That thing stabbed you nearly in the heart! You're lucky you aren't dead.”

“I've been told I'm too stubborn to die,” Thor chuckled as he gently brushed the hands aside. And then he looked over at his savior, surprised when he saw a mere teenager.

Brown hair and brown eyes, freckles and glasses with a beanie covering his head, the boy looked like a stereotypical and _normal_ child. The way he shifted uncomfortably showed his shyness, and he tilted his head at Thor curiously.

“Do you have, like, some kind of healing factor? I mean, I know you're an alien and all, so that might have factored into how you've healed so quickly, but- seriously- that should have _killed_ you. Not only did you get poison to the lungs, but you fell almost ten stories and made a freaking _crater_ with your _head_. How are you still up and breathing?”

Thor chuckled deeply, reaching out to pat the boy's shoulder. “You are a chatty one, my young friend.” At the teen's blush, Thor shook his head. “Never fear. Curiosity is the source of ingenuity. Keep asking questions. It will get you far in life.”

Rising to his feet, Thor bit back a groan and looked around. “Now, where is Mjolner?”

“M-yol-ner? Oh! You mean your hammer. Here.”

And then the boy held the hammer out to him.

Thor's eyes were wide as dinner plates as he took in the boy's appearance. A mere Midguardian- a _child_ at that- had been deemed worthy of lifting the Hammer of Thor. The teen looked confused at Thor's surprise, looking from the hammer to the hero and back.

“Um... are you gonna take it or what?”

“You are a peculiar boy,” Thor beamed. “The Hammer has deemed you worthy.”

“Uh... right.”

Thor took Mjolner back and started swinging it as he went to the door of the news building. Looking over his shoulder, Thor grinned at the boy. “What is your name, child?”

“Ah- Peter. Peter Parker.”

“Well then, Son of Parker, I hope I shall fight with you someday. For now, I suggest you flee these menaces while they are distracted.”

And Thor was taking off, leaving the stunned boy in his wake.

 

…

 

“Captain! I have destroyed on of the nests!” Thor called into his communicator as he flew back towards the park. “And I have evacuated the news building and the rest of the surrounding shops!”

“Good job, Thor. Meet us in the center of the park- the Queen isn't too happy, and we could use your thunder! Widow, how evacs looking on your end?”

“Almost done, Cap. Got one more hotel to empty out.”

“Good. Iron Man, Hawkeye, status?”

“Doin' good, Capsicle! This is the best Christmas present I've gotten in a while!”

Clint huffed over the comms. “You and I have a very different perspective on what constitutes a good present, Stark.” And then he addressed the Captain. “Cap, the nest I was hitting up is dead, but there's another being constructed next to- _the Hell_?”

“Hawkeye!” Captain America called, “Status?”

“We've got a little spider coming in to eat up these wasps, Cap.”

“A spider?”

And then a flash of bright red and blue filled Thor's and the Captain's vision. White webbing shot out and encased three of the wasps, wrapping them up together and flinging them to dangle from a light post. With a flashy flip, Spider-man appeared before the two heroes. They couldn't see his face, but the grin he sported was evident in his voice.

“Hiya, Cap! Thor! You guys need any help?”

Captain America smirked. “You up for a battle, son?”

“Heck yes! I managed to web up a few on my way here. They're using the sewer systems to branch out into other parts of the city. They've spread into Midtown, but Daredevil hit me up and said that he actually left Hell's Kitchen for a hot minute to cut them off on the border of Chelsea. I heard on my police scanner- that I totally didn't illegally confiscate- that the Upper West Side has a few dozen there, but Harlem has managed to remain untouched.”

“Wasps using the sewers?” The Captain scoffed. “What's next, the subways?”

“Hopefully not,” Black Widow responded.

“Hulk and I will stay in Central Park,” Captain America said. “Thor, you and Spider-man head to Midtown and help Daredevil out there. Iron Man, take the Upper West Side. Hawkeye, get those nests. Avengers, out!”

“What kind of a battle cry is that?” Iron Man teased, making the Captain groan.

“Just do it, Stark.”

“Man of Spiders! It is wonderful to make your acquaintance in battle once more!” Thor exclaimed as he flew off towards Midtown. Spider-man was managing to keep up with him via rooftops and occasionally web-slinging.

“Good to see you again too, Big Buddy! Now what do you say we smash these bugs once and for all?”

“Nay, we shall _decimate_ them!”

“Ooh, I like the cut of yer jab, Thor old buddy!”

And sure enough, when they reached the center of Midtown, the two heroes saw dozens of wasps shooting out of a manhole and attacking a deployed SWAT team. Spider-man couldn't see him, but he knew that Daredevil was out and about- rare for a daytime event- due to the bashed-in bodies of wasps that littered the streets.

“We need to cut them off at the source, but we can't let them get further into the sewer system!” Spider-man told Thor. “I'll jump down there and web off the passage ways out of Midtown. You fry the ones still up here!”

“Copy that, my friend!” Thor exclaimed with glee, flying high into the air and baiting the man-wasps away from the SWAT team. “Come at thee, you overgrown slugs!”

Thor held his own against the beasts for quite some time. Apparently bugs and lightning didn't mix very well. But after a few minutes, he found himself being swarmed. A lucky shot sent poison into his lower back, and Thor roared in pain. “I didn't care for it the first time, I don't care for it now,” he growled, swinging Mjolner into his attacker. When he was turned, though, another lucky hit- this time in the form of a full-body tackle- sent his spiraling into the ground. Upon being swarmed by the remaining wasps, Thor lost track of Mjolner. “NO!” he exclaimed, bashing two creatures together.

“I got you, buddy!”

And then Spider-man- his savior- was there, webbing up the man-wasps just enough for Thor to escape their grasps. Using his brute strength, Thor helped take out the wasps. Soon enough, the two heroes were surrounded by dead bodies, curled up and covered in bug goop.

“Need this, buddy?”

Thor turned to see Spider-man holding out Mjolner to him. At first taken aback, Thor almost didn't notice the familiarity in the other hero's stance. The way his shoulders hunched in with embarrassment at Thor's shocked stare, the way he tilted his head in curiosity, and the nervous tapping of his feet all gave it away.

“Son of Parker?”

And then Spider-man was sputtering out, “W-What? No! Who even is that? I have no clue who Son of Parker is and I don't know why you would call me that because my name is Spider-man! _Spider-man_. Y'know, Man of Spiders and all that jazz?”

Thor grinned as he took Mjolner from his battle-mate. “You are indeed a chatty one, Man of Spiders.”

Spider-man scoffed and took to the skies with his webs, hollering over his shoulder, “C'mon! We still have a Queen to kill!”

“Indeed!”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! Thanks so much for reading this far, and I hope you continue to enjoy the series!! Please leave me prompts on how Peter should meet the rest of the Avengers to help me with inspiration because it is scarce :D


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